Hey fellow Superhero’s,
Ok, so it’s time for me to provide you men, over 55, with the golden gems of how to successfully date women, connect with women and meet women over 55.
The reason for me writing this BLOG post is because I have been listening to a number of women, (including my mother – God bless her cotton socks) who have been sharing with me, all the stupid and unconscious things the more mature men are doing out there on the dating and romance scene.
If you’re a man in this demographic 55 + group, (and younger) and want to up your game in dating, romance and building a quality relationship with quality women.
It’s time to set the game straight.
Here we go Super Man!
Top 10 Rules for Dating and Romance for Men Over 55
1. Let go of the past
If you’re holding any anger and frustration about ex-wives who you feel have taken you for all your money, the businesses that failed, or the kids you’re in battle with or you don’t talk to, or maybe it’s the work colleagues or friends that piss you off.
If you’ve got any of this fear, anger, depressing ‘monkey-mind’ stuff going on, get on the job now, it’s time to clean house. Clean it up any habits of manipulation, control and fears with yourself and the people you have been thinking of are doing it to you.
This may be new to you or a pleasant reminder.
We can’t change the past; however we can find the courage and strength as super men, to find forgiveness and acceptance so we can move forward with our lives. And love women the way good clear courageous men should love their women.
I’d say part of why you’re on the date is to move forward. So go forward with humility, clarity, good cheer and love in your heart. Love for yourself and love for the lovely lady you are about to meet. Whether it goes anywhere or not, we all need more love.
Go on a date with an intention to have a clear head with good thoughts and feelings. Not baggage full of anger and hate which will only have you end in just more frustration and disappointment. Remember you don’t have to be perfect and have your life all perfect, this is ridiculous and impossible. Its about the AIM to be more responsible for yourself and what has happened, whether you like it or not.
Then you’re free to make better choices and be happier in yourself and this is attractive to good women.
2. Calm you’re nerves
I understand that going on a date with a stranger can be scary and bring up all sorts of fears. Maybe you’ve come out of a hard and painful divorce, your wife may have died, or you may have been out of the dating scene for years.
All good reasons for your nerves to mess with you. Saying Danger Danger.
If you’re feeling nervous, my simplest advice is to go for a good brisk wall for 10 minutes before you go on your date. Do this every time.
Take good deep breaths that will have the nervous energy move through your body.
Talk to yourself and tell you’re here to have fun, to enjoy yourself and her company; you don’t need to know everything about what and how to be. It will all be wonderful.
Say to yourself, calm down, have fun and be social. Enjoy her company and mine.
Breathe breathe and more breathing!
3. Lighten up and be fun
Going out on a date is meant to be enjoyable and fun. For the lovely lady you’re meeting and for yourself. You’re going to meet a new person and explore how you may both connect and become friends or maybe even something more.
I’m not 55 yet, however I will be one day. And I use this mantra now, with a great woman as my partner. Whether single or in a relationship…
I go out and Have Fun and Be Social. Have Fun & Be Social. Have Fun & Be Social.
Whenever my mind goes into Serious Mode, such as, what will she think, did I say the wrong thing, does she think I’m ugly??? Blah Blah Blah.
You try it! I promise you it’s really lightens the whole energy you are giving out.
Whether women are 25 or 65, they’re still little girls at heart, just like we are little boys. And what do kids love to do? HAVE FUN!
So prepare yourself my good man, before going on a date, have some funny stories to share with her about what has recently happened to you. Maybe the story of when you couldn’t find your glasses, which you had on your head all along.
Or you can’t believe how much you clean your tool shed and keep all the tools in the right spot, only if you could be this organized with cooking your dinner.
You get it!
Just having the intention of being more fun, light and social, will have you start thinking and acting in this way.
So go out and enjoy yourself, allow yourself to have fun, you deserve it, show her a great time filled with fun and laughter.
4. Be Interesting and Interested
The latest reports from the good women I have been getting feedback from, are telling me, many of you men talk way too much about yourself. Tut tut tut!
Now I get you may be feeling nervous and sometimes we talk too much when this is going on. However it’s important you keep yourself calm and stop talking so much, and the easiest way to stop this, is to….
LISTEN! Listen to her and what she is saying and take your time to respond.
Women are just as afraid as you are, if not more. You are this strange man she has just met and it takes her a little while to warm up.
The right way to interact with women goes like this.
You come in as a man, light fun, with good cheer and allow her to feel safe and comfortable by sharing some things about yourself and hopefully with good fun and humor. As she feels more relaxed she will share more and more with you.
You hit the ball, she hits it back. DON’T YOU, be hitting the ball, hitting the ball and hitting the ball again and again at her, like some out of control tennis ball shooting machine.
Yes be interesting, share with her about your life and your interests and experiences, and at the say time. Listen to her, with humility, ask her questions and focus on her and focus on seeing the beauty in her.
Be respectful to her for the life she has lived, the battles she has endured just as you have. When you have this intention behind your communication, you just watch how much nicer it will be for you and how much more enjoyment you will bring to her and the date.
5. Be a Good Man
If you’re in the age brake of 55 + as a man, there’s a very good chance that you were raised with the focus of it being about money, toughness, maybe even examples of controlling, manipulative male figures and being a braggart to your mates and buddies.
Actually come to think of it, it’s s like this for lots of men even now.
Ok, so anyways, my point here is. Be a good man. Women like good men, especially mature 50 + women. Who are past being attracted to troubled, arrogant controlling men.
They’ve been through all the battles and are on the other end of this journey.
I not saying you have to be a wussy weak, no strength and presence as a man. I mean be a man.
Yes, these women care about safe and security, so having your own money and self reliant life is important. However what is more important to them is you are a gentlemen, you are patient, well spoken, humble, able to listen, smell clean, laugh and be in your own manhood without being a boastful loud mouth. Thinking you have to brag about your worldly exploits to have her be impressed by you.
If this is how you’ve been living, maybe just check in on how this way of being has worked out for you so far?
So calm down and take a look at yourself. How are you acting? Do you talk yourself up egotistically and how great you are and where you live and what you have done?
Or are you focused on being a good man, with a love and respect for yourself for whatever you have in your life?
Whether the woman you are with has built her own successes and career or she is the more humble quiet type. I want you to know, they just want you to be a man that is nice to be with, is fun in your own unique way, can laugh at yourself, has interests and friends and who is fun and respects them for who they are.
You don’t need to show them up or prove you are better.
Be a good man to yourself and her and watch the magic happen.
6. Be Positive – Not a Don the Downer
When you’re on a date it’s important to be positive. Yes she wants to hear about your family, your career and your kids and interests.
She will also be interested to hear what may have been some of your challenges in life such as the loss of a partner or a wife and children, a job or business.
What will get very tiring very quickly for her is when you are being a Don the Downer. Don the Downer is the guy who is depressing and negative and talks about how hard his life has been and is, how he was ripped off and left with nothing. Like a helpless rabbit caught in the spot light of life’s journey.
Women will sympathies with you, because this is what they are designed to do. Be good nurtures. However women and especially more mature women, have generally done more than enough fixing and nurturing, they want some good love from a good man, fun, enjoyment and some adventure.
So share with them the stories of the past, however keep it coming from of a space of… Well that was then and this is now, I’m doing my best to live life and enjoy it and it’s a pleasure to be here with you.
7. Fat Tummy, No Honey
Now here’s the deal. I’m not saying you have to be an Arnold with muscles and a 32 inch waist. What I am saying is, make the time to be presentable, especially when you’re going on a date.
If you find you’re overweight then take the time to loss the weight and do some exercise.
How many times I hear men wanting to date (whether they are 35 or 65) attractive well presented women, when they themselves look like crap. How is this going to ever be possible.
It maybe if you have heaps of money and your dating some women who is only interested in getting into your wallet. Which I feel is selling your sole for all the wrong reasons. For you and for her.
This is not the way a superman conducts himself. We seek Truth, Courage and Honesty.
If you need to get to work on cleaning yourself up. Then do it! Start working, cut back on your fatty foods and beer. Eat more good foods.
You will feel better, more confident and vital and alive, which is much more attractive to yourself when you look in the mirror and to her when she is looking at you.
And the bonus is your sex life is so much better when you’re slimmer and fitter.
Here are some other important tips for you when going on a date.
• Make sure the hair on your head whether you have a little or a lot, is clean and tidy.
• Your eyebrow, noise and ears are clean and tidy.
• Wear nice presentable cloths and shoes.
• Make sure your shoes are clean and tidy.
• Where cloths that fit you and make sure your shirt pressed and fits you.
• Have a show and put deodorant on and a little aftershave but not too much.
• Make sure your breath and body smells good. If you know you have a breath problem,
have mints or go to the doctors and find out what can be done to help.
It seems the skin on our bodies does some wild stuff after about 45 so if you any have skin tags on your neck and face, or under your arms etc, gets them removed. Women hate them and they’re ugly. Most doctors can do this under Medicare.
Again remember, it’s not about being the slimmest, best looking guy in the world. It’s just about you being the best, you can for you.
Make the effort, I promise it will be worth it.
8. Be patient
Be patient when you’re dating and talking. By this I mean, you do not have to spill your guts and most intimate desires in 30 minutes.
What I have been told by so many mature women when out dating is how the men tell them everything they want and that they want it right now.
Any of these sound familiar to you?
I’m really looking for a woman to move in with me as I need company and don’t want to be alone.
I want travel in a van around the country, would you like to do this with me. (asked on the first date)
I’m a specialist in star signs and I know everything about you and we are so compatible. Do you want to sleep with me tonight?
It’s good and healthy and more than likely the ultimate objective to want to have sex, to have a travel companion, to get married and have a new wife and new life together and to have a woman love you and take care of you.
However you don’t need to tell her that you want all of this on the first date.
Women want to be with men, men want to be with women, however it’s your role as the man, to be a man and romance her.
Be patient, be interesting, show her a good time, tell her less and do more.
Remember, she is a little girl at heart; she wants fun, mystery and adventure. Show her these experiences and you won’t have a problem in the world.
If you’re going on dates, go and do some things that allow other topics to be discussed other than yourself and what you want.
Go to the museum, the art gallery, a concert in the park, the markets; feed the birds at the zoo. All the places where there are interesting things to discuss and do together.
If things go the way you both want, you will have plenty of time to share your goals and dreams together.
9. Be a romantic
We have already talked a lot about being a man and how to treat a woman. I do feel though for us to get you to superhero status, stat! It’s an extremely important point to be very specific with, which is to be romantic.
As I have said, women 50 plus are done with games, they want a man. Actually all women want A Man! The good news for you here in this time of your life you can be a romantic confident man, with complete safety because your date will really appreciate you for it.
So romance it up.
Whether it’s the first time you have met this woman or you’re meeting more regularly. Be a romantic and by this I mean.
• Be at the venue or place you are meeting early so you can greet her.
• Greet her and stand up and shake her hand gently and politely.
Or if you know her give her a polite kiss on the cheek.
• Open the door for her and smile with a nice open pleasant manly attitude.
• Walk along side her with patience.
• Pull out the seat for her and seat her at a table.
• Get her a glass of water and give it to her.
• When she talks, listen and wait for her to finish before speaking.
• When she orders allow her to order for herself.
Please remember, go easy on the alcohol, you want to maintain control and keep in check what you are saying and be able to listen to her with focus.
Whenever you can sit at a 45 degree angle to her as this is a much easier way to communicate and she will feel far less threaten by you. Positioning yourself straight across from her, especially on a first date, can be quite overwhelming for women, so make it easier on her.
Sitting across from each other is for after you’ve had sex and are more intimate.
This is another BLOG post.
10. On the first date, You Pay, Always!
Ok, here we are at the final rule for today’s post, which is addressing the very important point about… who pays.
This is a point which confuses many men, especially in this age bracket.
I think it’s because of so much media garbage that confuses the hell out of men.
I’m telling you my good man, whatever you read or hear. Here is the answer.
You pay as the man taking her out on the first date, whether it’s for a juice, a drink, coffee or dinner or movie. You as the man, pay.
The reason I am so clear on this point is because as Mother Nature intended. You are the man who was put here to romance the women and this is part of the courtship process.
Now, here is the key, you don’t have to take her to some ridiculously expensive restaurant to impress her and you don’t pay to hopefully win brownie points.
You pay because you want to, as a man should. Get the difference?
If she is concerned about you paying, be in control and just make it fun and say something such as;
‘hey I’ve been saving my pennies for a few centuries now for this opportunity, so please let me fulfill on my goal here today’.
Or, with a smile say, ‘I’ve been working for a while now, ‘I think I can just scrape by to get this one’. You get the next one, ok’.
Get it! It’s about keeping it light and fun while you maintain your sense of manly attraction to her.
If you progress on into a relationship there will be plenty of time for her to pay for you and visa versa.
Ok so there you have it, my 10 Rules for Dating and Romance for Men over 55.
I really hope this has helped to clear up some confusing and give you more clarity about improving you dating and romance skills.
Let me know how you go, I’d love to hear your stories.
Now, go out there and have some fun and be social and enjoy your life.
To your Super Success,